After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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