If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
