if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I haven't been this sober since birth.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
The beer is more important than you right now.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
