Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
