i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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