dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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