I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
