We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
