Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize