it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
