I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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