Fine. I'll sleep in my office
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Randomize
