if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
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