I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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