i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
jump out the window naked night went bad
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