dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
