im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
