Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wish i was in the wii world.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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