The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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