Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
