So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
