She is in my trunk
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Are we still banned from the library?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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