Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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