White coat. Heels.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
