Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
