Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
