you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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