it was like his penis was on wheels.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
