I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
