Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
