So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
