i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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