My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
