you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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