I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize