So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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