My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
