Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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