I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
PANTIES FOUND
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