It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
