I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize