Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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