I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
