4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
