wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
