brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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