tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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