I feel great
I just peed on a car
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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