well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
