sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
