its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
