Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
