Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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