Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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