so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
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