i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
