i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
