my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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