rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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