Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Randomize
